December

Dear Friends,

I am writing to you all with sad news. This past December 10, my grandfather passed away. I had been able to return to Colorado about a week earlier, having heard he was in very poor health and getting worse. It was a privilege to spend that last week with my grandfather. At times his eyes would sparkle and he would smile, just as he always did when I was growing up. He would look at my grandmother and say "Oh look how beautiful she is." or "Oh, I love you." I had the blessing to help to take care of him even as, once again, he took care of me, helping me begin to find some important questions.

I don't know if I know what the questions are yet. But I am so aware of them. And all I can do is cry Amen and Alleluia because God is and He was there.

He was there in the organizing of plane tickets -- originally my whole family was going to visit El Salvador for Christmas, but gracias a dios we were all here.

He was there in the love my grandparents had for each other -- in there 60 years of marriage and particularly this past week.

He was there in the way my family came together

He was there the three nights before my grandfather died when he got out of bed for the first time in months and sat in a chair for an hour and a half chatted with us, blues eyes snapping and smiling, and even walked a few steps

He was there in my grandfathers strength of spirit character and love to the very end.

He was there at the funeral when the servicemen presented my grandmother with a flag, something that touched her so deeply that she remembers it even in the midst of Alzheimer's.

He is here now with each of us as we mourn and grieve and keep loving and laughing. Asking questions and looking towards the future with hope.

I will return to El Salvador at the beginning of the New Year, renewed in life from the testament of my grandfather, discovering the questions