My country? whose country.

"i´m glad to be an american where at least i know i´m free..."

in elementary school i was in choir. we met before school and practiced and learned all kinds of songs. one of them was a medley of militay songs, including this line here. that was sixth grade. that summer, my family and i went to germany, and we were walking in berlin and i started singing...singing just to be singing and i was sang that medley. after about 5 minutes my dad told it was probably better if i picked a different song. i was so embarassed.

i am so embarrassed.

in 1932 there was a rebellion here. Farabuni Marti, a self proclaimed communist, led the campesinos in an uprising in Izalco, in the department Santa Ana. The government killed them all in what is now called La Matanza, The Massacre. The political structures and social conditions present and the basis for for that uprising stayed the same...and maybe even got worse. Now, .7% of the population own 40% of the land, including the 16% of the land that is the most arable. It is these same people who have most of the wealth and the opportunity for education. And this is today after some small steps in agrarian reform.

how did this happen? well in the mid 1900s the main cash crop of el salvador was indigo, and the marked was good until all of a sudden it wasn´t when it was discovered how to make indido colored dye chemically. so the landowners (usually referred to as the 14 families...which is to imply that one family for each department has all the resources) started growing coffee. Now coffee fincas need to be located on mountain- or volcano-sides, so they relocated all of the natives and campesinos to the flat land nd hired them 3 months out of the year to help harvest the coffee. then about a decade or so later cotton and sugar were introduced as other cash crops, these which can only be grown in the flat land. so again, they took the land from the natives and campesinos.

for history, i´m reading a book by don lito, who lived in one of these communities. he says before the 70s whole towns would be desserted s people (families) left there homes in search of a finca to work on, often coming back leaner and worse looking than before, but going every year because otherwise they really would have nothing, no food. nothing. the money they made had to last them the rest of the year. currently the pay is a few dollars for 10 pounds of coffee beans. he said they lived like dogs, poor dogs.

in the 70s, there was a consciencization, largely through the church, which began to teach people how to think how to organize starting in the church but it was very applicable to the politicl situation. Jesus came for the poor. the poor are ready.

People began to die. slowly, and with no visible pattern nor connection to political idealogy. but soon it increased and the pattern became more evident

Romero became rchbishop, Father Rutilio Grande was murdered. people were scared. if they killed a priest, would the kill me too? the guerrrillas began to organize. Romero began to speak

speak speak out, a voice for the voice, harshly criticizing the governments death squad, but also any killings that happened on the left.

communists the called the guerrillas. communists. the red scare, the cold war. it was here.

and the US was scared...the soviets, in OUR backyard? NEVER.

and people are dying

and the US is throwing money at the government, which is really the gang of the wealthy and the military. get rid of the reds. we don´t want another nicaragua. anything but that. anything.

and the guerrillas received weapons from cuba.

for a year: 1980.

but with that every one´s fears were confirmed

never mind that they asked the international community for support.

never mind that they were ignored by everyone but the eastern block.

they were communist. isn´t the communist party one of the groups in the left FMLN
(nevr mind they were the smallest, the last to condone violence...)

it´s a plot. the ussr is coming.

it´s coming.

and so the death squads were killing...the army was killing...army units trained by the us. with guns given by the us. in helicoptors provided by the us.

and the guerrillas? with no outside support after 1980, captured us weapons for dead soldiers, were sold us weapons by corrupt soldiers, kidnapped the wealthy for ransom.

and monsenor romero was shot saying mass. and the people cried. and 4 us church women were tortured raped murdred buried.

and the US? said shape up on human rights el salvador...while continuing to give 2 million dollrs a day.

we will give you 2 million dollars a day to kill priests, church women, and campesinos in the name of eliminating (purging!) your country of the communists.

the communists who in one profile were women wearing jeans and sneakers...a next a pile of bodies with breasts, jeans and sneakers was found.

2 million dollars a day... plus our best military advisors, just over the border in cuba as it was illegal to have more than 50 at a time in elsalvador.

2 million dollars a day for el mozote. a hamlet in morazan, a department on the border of honduras. go to el mozote all the peasants in the region were told. there you will be safe. and the believed them and flocked to el mozote. and the army was in morazon, hamlet by hamlet, killing by lists until they ran out of lists and just started killing. everyone in el mozote. men women children. over 1000. throwing kids in the air and having them land on knives to meet there death. mothers locked in abother building on the other side of the hamlet hearing the screams of their children.

2 million dollars a day...at all costs (but shape up on your human rights el slavador!) ... anything to defeat the reds.

12 years. the civil war last 12 years from 1980 - 1992. it would have ended much earlier, been less harsh, certainly suffered less deaths but for us. but for US.

and the cold war ended. and ARENA was founded...around DAbuison...the man in charge of the death squads. and the won the election in 79 (one of those o so free elections we could point to and say see...there are elections and so there´s democracy. see the progress in el salvador!)

and people died.

and in 1992 the peace accords were signed because we were tired of 2 million dollars a day and pretended we were never that scared all along and so the war could end.

and ARENA hs won every election since then, up until 2005 when a representative from colorado said all salvadorans in the us would be deported if ARENA did not win. and a half a million people did vote in 2005 that did vote in 2009, when threats such as that were not allowed to stand.

and still there is hope in El Salvador. Great pain and great hope and open arms.

and open arms and open heart to me, the guilty, the ashamed. but i am loved and so i have hope.

and the FMLN, Funes, is president. ¡Viva!

here, in this country, there is pain and hope...forever hope and faith.

but my country?