08 February 2010
Where I work now, check it out!
Click on it, and in the first couple lines of text, there's a link that says "progress reportread updates from the field." Click on that for a good idea of what we do :) !!
01 February 2010
Provision
I've been thinking a lot of the beginning of my freshman year at university lately. It makes sense, I guess, at the end and so remembering the beginning. The funny thing is though that this end and that beginning, well the seem and feel remarkably similar. Similar in a way that gives me goose bumps sometimes because it taps me on the shoulder, whispers in my ear, throws me body and soul up in the air and catches me that GOD IS.
Being. I am captivated by. Being as in the Being who is I AM. Being as in the fact that I be, that each of you be. And I use "be," shortened infinitive very much on purpose because I find sometimes to conjugate it diminishes its power, it becomes a statement of status quo, the way things are, rather than dynamically and terrifyingly alive and moving and at work. Being.
I met my room mate and one of my closest friends at the Open House weekend of my senior year in high school. We met and knew we wanted to live together. Through her, I found out about InterVarsity Christian Fellowship and joined a women's small which has been, from the beginning, foundational and formational both to my time at Georgetown and my faith journey. Also through my room mate, I met an amazing group of people, discovered Father King's 11:15 pm daily mass. I did not seek any of this, but rather it was given to me. I don't know why, but am so grateful that I was given the grace to receive such a gift.
Fast forward three and one half years to today. Beginning life after graduating is much more terrifying. (There it is. That fear thing again). Or at least, its the part I'm living now and having made it through first semester of freshman year, it seems much scarier. There is no road map after university. No expected course. You go to high school, college is the next step. After college there's grad school, AmeriCorps, Peace Corp, a job, something else entirely. The endless possibilities are daunting. I feel, again much like I did first semester of freshman year, that every choice will some how determine the course of my entire life. Which of course every action I take, each decision I make, is a step of the journey, and therefore, a step towards something, somewhere. But each step cannot hold the entire weight of the rest of my life. Process, it is process.
And so I remember the provision of the One who Is. I have a job that was offered completely unexpectedly with a wage better than what I had expected or would have asked for, on campus, with other people -- feeling provided for both economically as well as relieving a fear I have had of becoming isolated. I wish I could remember, be grateful, and give thanks and praise much more than I do. To live in awe wonder reverence love thanksgiving. But paso a paso.
This passage has been in my mind all week. Comforting and challenging all at once.
Matthew 6:25 - 34,
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Being. I am captivated by. Being as in the Being who is I AM. Being as in the fact that I be, that each of you be. And I use "be," shortened infinitive very much on purpose because I find sometimes to conjugate it diminishes its power, it becomes a statement of status quo, the way things are, rather than dynamically and terrifyingly alive and moving and at work. Being.
I met my room mate and one of my closest friends at the Open House weekend of my senior year in high school. We met and knew we wanted to live together. Through her, I found out about InterVarsity Christian Fellowship and joined a women's small which has been, from the beginning, foundational and formational both to my time at Georgetown and my faith journey. Also through my room mate, I met an amazing group of people, discovered Father King's 11:15 pm daily mass. I did not seek any of this, but rather it was given to me. I don't know why, but am so grateful that I was given the grace to receive such a gift.
Fast forward three and one half years to today. Beginning life after graduating is much more terrifying. (There it is. That fear thing again). Or at least, its the part I'm living now and having made it through first semester of freshman year, it seems much scarier. There is no road map after university. No expected course. You go to high school, college is the next step. After college there's grad school, AmeriCorps, Peace Corp, a job, something else entirely. The endless possibilities are daunting. I feel, again much like I did first semester of freshman year, that every choice will some how determine the course of my entire life. Which of course every action I take, each decision I make, is a step of the journey, and therefore, a step towards something, somewhere. But each step cannot hold the entire weight of the rest of my life. Process, it is process.
And so I remember the provision of the One who Is. I have a job that was offered completely unexpectedly with a wage better than what I had expected or would have asked for, on campus, with other people -- feeling provided for both economically as well as relieving a fear I have had of becoming isolated. I wish I could remember, be grateful, and give thanks and praise much more than I do. To live in awe wonder reverence love thanksgiving. But paso a paso.
This passage has been in my mind all week. Comforting and challenging all at once.
Matthew 6:25 - 34,
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
24 January 2010
I AM the Lord of the Dance said He
I have talked before about wisdom sources -- what a liberation that is for me to be able to name my wisdome sources -- the people, the books, the circumstances that have opened my eyes, heart, understanding, that have formed me.
I got a book for Christmas, from my dad, called "Thirst" by Mary Oliver and truly it has entered my wisdom collection. Some of the poems, well it felt like I was reading words that I had been searching for, that it resonated with me so much that at times I felt as though I could have written it for all the ways it spoke to me. She writes about wonder, faith, grief and loss, of learning to be. How human we are and how beautifully terrifyingly holy that is.
This next (at the end) is not from that book, but it is one of Mary's (Mary's ...like I know her, as if she were my friend. I do. and she is) and, having just found it, it seems to capture well this life after undergrad. I life which so far -- all 3 days of it sense my Christmas break officially ended -- has sent me reeling. I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow or the next day or the next: where I will be or who I will see or what I will be doing. But I have big dreams and that is perhaps the most frightening thing of all. Fear. I talk about it a lot. One of these days I will have to do a study upon it -- and by study I mean look up quotes and maybe some of the Bible verse ("Fear not" is one of the phrases used the most throughout, if not the Bible, at least the New Testament. Beautiful.)
Colin is in a philosophy class and was asked to write a one page paper about what it means to be human. One page! I love this assignment and almost want to write a book a treatise a poem maybe -- something! What does it mean to be human? To be alive? Dreaming, I think, has something to do with it. And joy and pain (always together, everything all at once). The ability to laugh and to cry and to scream. To feel wonder, awe, a sense of smallness in the face of the twirling universe. To think and to feel. Someone told me the other day that is is important that decisions be made with both the mind and the heart -- to engage all of myself, to integrate reason and logic with emotions and desires. How much easier it could be to just follow one or the other! to ignore my mind and follow my heart and so live blindly. Funny that I think maybe my mind might be the easier thing to ignore. But to be human, fully human, demands integrity (pulling on the "whole" "complete" definition of the word) and so I must be rational.
But! how to be rational about mystery! about that which cannot be known, data which encroaches back upon itself (as says Gabriel Marcel) and being (being human!) as one of the greatest mysteries. Ontology -- a word I learned first from Madeleine L'Engle and then further explored with Marcel -- the word about being. What does it mean for me to be? I cannot agree that what I be can be simply defined by what I do. I was a student. But am no longer. I work 20 hours a month as a receptionist, will begin working 40 hours a month with a non-profit. Maybe another 80 or so a month at a coffee shop or doing... and while the thing that I do (and will be doing) that are know, I love and mean a great deal to me, have been formational to me, it cannot be the whole answer.
I had an autoimmune disease for 5 years in middle school and high school and went to school (a little bit), slept (a lot), ached (probably more than I remember) and, maybe that was when I first thought thinking this though I didn't have the words yet, is that I cannot, I refuse!, to be what I do. There is, there must be, more to being than that. Just as there must be more to God than Church on Sunday. And this I am quite stubborn about and not only do I believe that there is more, but I demand it.
So, what does it mean to be human, this question directly related to what does it mean for me to be, who (in the biggest sense of the word possible) am I? are you? And God? God, and as I am not writing this for a philosophy paper MUST come in, because some one God, the Holy Spirit -- the ultimate Life Force--is responsible for all of this Being that is being questioned and discussed. So to question to wonder to ponder about what it means to BE inherently, intrinsically, inexplicably touches upon I AM --being itself.
It's a question that can never be answered. But the question is important, essential. It must be lived, it must be asked, and sought and somehow, and this too I believe completely, that it is the seeking (the risking hurt and pain, it is risking --because these too can be overwhelming while awe inspiring -- love and hope and faith and joy) that is what it means to be, what it means to be human. Living risky. Living with arms wide open.
Mockingbirds by Mary Oliver
This morning
two mockingbirds
in the green field
were spinning and tossing
the white ribbons
of their songs
into the air.
I had nothing
better to do
than listen.
I mean this
seriously.
In Greece,
a long time ago,
an old couple
opened their door
to two strangers
who were,
it soon appeared,
not men at all,
but gods.
It is my favorite story--
how the old couple
had almost nothing to give
but their willingness
to be attentive--
but for this alone
the gods loved them
and blessed them--
when they rose
out of their mortal bodies,
like a million particles of water
from a fountain,
the light
swept into all the corners
of the cottage,
and the old couple,
shaken with understanding,
bowed down--
but still they asked for nothing
but the difficult life
which they had already.
And the gods smiled, as they vanished,
clapping their great wings.
Wherever it was
I was supposed to be
this morning--
whatever it was I said
I would be doing--
I was standing
at the edge of the field--
I was hurrying
through my own soul,
opening its dark doors--
I was leaning out;
I was listening.
Copyright © 1994 by The Atlantic Monthly Company. All rights reserved. The Atlantic Monthly; February 1994; Mockingbirds; Volume 273, No. 2; page 80
I got a book for Christmas, from my dad, called "Thirst" by Mary Oliver and truly it has entered my wisdom collection. Some of the poems, well it felt like I was reading words that I had been searching for, that it resonated with me so much that at times I felt as though I could have written it for all the ways it spoke to me. She writes about wonder, faith, grief and loss, of learning to be. How human we are and how beautifully terrifyingly holy that is.
This next (at the end) is not from that book, but it is one of Mary's (Mary's ...like I know her, as if she were my friend. I do. and she is) and, having just found it, it seems to capture well this life after undergrad. I life which so far -- all 3 days of it sense my Christmas break officially ended -- has sent me reeling. I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow or the next day or the next: where I will be or who I will see or what I will be doing. But I have big dreams and that is perhaps the most frightening thing of all. Fear. I talk about it a lot. One of these days I will have to do a study upon it -- and by study I mean look up quotes and maybe some of the Bible verse ("Fear not" is one of the phrases used the most throughout, if not the Bible, at least the New Testament. Beautiful.)
Colin is in a philosophy class and was asked to write a one page paper about what it means to be human. One page! I love this assignment and almost want to write a book a treatise a poem maybe -- something! What does it mean to be human? To be alive? Dreaming, I think, has something to do with it. And joy and pain (always together, everything all at once). The ability to laugh and to cry and to scream. To feel wonder, awe, a sense of smallness in the face of the twirling universe. To think and to feel. Someone told me the other day that is is important that decisions be made with both the mind and the heart -- to engage all of myself, to integrate reason and logic with emotions and desires. How much easier it could be to just follow one or the other! to ignore my mind and follow my heart and so live blindly. Funny that I think maybe my mind might be the easier thing to ignore. But to be human, fully human, demands integrity (pulling on the "whole" "complete" definition of the word) and so I must be rational.
But! how to be rational about mystery! about that which cannot be known, data which encroaches back upon itself (as says Gabriel Marcel) and being (being human!) as one of the greatest mysteries. Ontology -- a word I learned first from Madeleine L'Engle and then further explored with Marcel -- the word about being. What does it mean for me to be? I cannot agree that what I be can be simply defined by what I do. I was a student. But am no longer. I work 20 hours a month as a receptionist, will begin working 40 hours a month with a non-profit. Maybe another 80 or so a month at a coffee shop or doing... and while the thing that I do (and will be doing) that are know, I love and mean a great deal to me, have been formational to me, it cannot be the whole answer.
I had an autoimmune disease for 5 years in middle school and high school and went to school (a little bit), slept (a lot), ached (probably more than I remember) and, maybe that was when I first thought thinking this though I didn't have the words yet, is that I cannot, I refuse!, to be what I do. There is, there must be, more to being than that. Just as there must be more to God than Church on Sunday. And this I am quite stubborn about and not only do I believe that there is more, but I demand it.
So, what does it mean to be human, this question directly related to what does it mean for me to be, who (in the biggest sense of the word possible) am I? are you? And God? God, and as I am not writing this for a philosophy paper MUST come in, because some one God, the Holy Spirit -- the ultimate Life Force--is responsible for all of this Being that is being questioned and discussed. So to question to wonder to ponder about what it means to BE inherently, intrinsically, inexplicably touches upon I AM --being itself.
It's a question that can never be answered. But the question is important, essential. It must be lived, it must be asked, and sought and somehow, and this too I believe completely, that it is the seeking (the risking hurt and pain, it is risking --because these too can be overwhelming while awe inspiring -- love and hope and faith and joy) that is what it means to be, what it means to be human. Living risky. Living with arms wide open.
Mockingbirds by Mary Oliver
This morning
two mockingbirds
in the green field
were spinning and tossing
the white ribbons
of their songs
into the air.
I had nothing
better to do
than listen.
I mean this
seriously.
In Greece,
a long time ago,
an old couple
opened their door
to two strangers
who were,
it soon appeared,
not men at all,
but gods.
It is my favorite story--
how the old couple
had almost nothing to give
but their willingness
to be attentive--
but for this alone
the gods loved them
and blessed them--
when they rose
out of their mortal bodies,
like a million particles of water
from a fountain,
the light
swept into all the corners
of the cottage,
and the old couple,
shaken with understanding,
bowed down--
but still they asked for nothing
but the difficult life
which they had already.
And the gods smiled, as they vanished,
clapping their great wings.
Wherever it was
I was supposed to be
this morning--
whatever it was I said
I would be doing--
I was standing
at the edge of the field--
I was hurrying
through my own soul,
opening its dark doors--
I was leaning out;
I was listening.
Copyright © 1994 by The Atlantic Monthly Company. All rights reserved. The Atlantic Monthly; February 1994; Mockingbirds; Volume 273, No. 2; page 80
11 January 2010
hello from italy
So hello! it's been a while. and i've been making lists in my head of things i want to blog about. so today (in about 15 minutes) we'll just see what we get to!
I've been in Italy since Jan 5 and will leave Jan 13. It's been beautiful. The first full day I was here (here with my Aunt) I went to a mass, said by the Pope, for Epiphany. So i've been doing a lot of thinking, particularly with the other basilicas, churches, and cathedrals, about the church. All of the church buildings here have been overwhelming: arches and high ceilings and mosaics and marble and amazing patterns in the floor. Sculptures and paintings, several alters. In many ways they literally have raised my eyes to the heavens. At the same time as my breath has been taken away by their beauty, I have thought of Oscar Romero, Archbishop of San Salvador in the late 70's. Any rate, he was responsible for finishing the cathedral in San Salvador, he said (and when i find the exact quote I will post it)that as long as their were so many people in need, the cathedral would (and should) remain unfinished. So in church sunday (yesterday), while the priest was giving his own homily in italian, this is what I thought about: the church is not the buildings, finished or unfinished. The church is the people. Not a new or earth shattering idea to be sure, but one that just hit me hard yesterday. And there was a line in the second reading, in the letter to Titus (we had sheets with the readings translated into English on them, greatly appreciated!), that said "God's grace has been revealed, and it has made salvation possible for the whole human race and taught us that what we have to do is to give up everything that does not leave to God, including all our worldy ambition. And I thought too about David, who wanted so badly to build a temple for the Lord, and God said no you silly beloved man, you cannot build me a temple; i cannot be contained. but because you asked and because i love you, your solomon will build my temple.
it's so easy to say that God lives in Church. and then to lock him in. No! He is the God of a people and the whole earth is holy in His presence. I'm reading Mary Oliver (poetry is wonderful to travel with, thought provoking but the book itself is light!) so just want share one I read last night with you before I sign off. Called Musical Notation: 2 inher book Thirst
Everything is His.
The door, the door jamb.
The wood stacked near the door.
The leaves blown upon the path
that leads to the door.
The trees that are dropping their leaves
and the wind that is tripping them this way and that way
the clouds that are high above them,
the stars that are sleeping now byond the cluds
and, simply said, all the rest.
When I open the door I am so sure so sure
all this will be there, and it is.
I look around.
I fill my arms with the firewood.
I turn and enter His house, and close His door.
How do I live if I live not only in God's presence but in His house?
And I love Church and the mass and it is a wonderful way to Him, a grounding and a coming home and a comfort and joy and giver of strength and endurance to carry on the rest of the week. But I live my whole life in God's house, not just the hour or so on Sundays, and particularly when I am attending such grand churches, I need the reminder.
I've been in Italy since Jan 5 and will leave Jan 13. It's been beautiful. The first full day I was here (here with my Aunt) I went to a mass, said by the Pope, for Epiphany. So i've been doing a lot of thinking, particularly with the other basilicas, churches, and cathedrals, about the church. All of the church buildings here have been overwhelming: arches and high ceilings and mosaics and marble and amazing patterns in the floor. Sculptures and paintings, several alters. In many ways they literally have raised my eyes to the heavens. At the same time as my breath has been taken away by their beauty, I have thought of Oscar Romero, Archbishop of San Salvador in the late 70's. Any rate, he was responsible for finishing the cathedral in San Salvador, he said (and when i find the exact quote I will post it)that as long as their were so many people in need, the cathedral would (and should) remain unfinished. So in church sunday (yesterday), while the priest was giving his own homily in italian, this is what I thought about: the church is not the buildings, finished or unfinished. The church is the people. Not a new or earth shattering idea to be sure, but one that just hit me hard yesterday. And there was a line in the second reading, in the letter to Titus (we had sheets with the readings translated into English on them, greatly appreciated!), that said "God's grace has been revealed, and it has made salvation possible for the whole human race and taught us that what we have to do is to give up everything that does not leave to God, including all our worldy ambition. And I thought too about David, who wanted so badly to build a temple for the Lord, and God said no you silly beloved man, you cannot build me a temple; i cannot be contained. but because you asked and because i love you, your solomon will build my temple.
it's so easy to say that God lives in Church. and then to lock him in. No! He is the God of a people and the whole earth is holy in His presence. I'm reading Mary Oliver (poetry is wonderful to travel with, thought provoking but the book itself is light!) so just want share one I read last night with you before I sign off. Called Musical Notation: 2 inher book Thirst
Everything is His.
The door, the door jamb.
The wood stacked near the door.
The leaves blown upon the path
that leads to the door.
The trees that are dropping their leaves
and the wind that is tripping them this way and that way
the clouds that are high above them,
the stars that are sleeping now byond the cluds
and, simply said, all the rest.
When I open the door I am so sure so sure
all this will be there, and it is.
I look around.
I fill my arms with the firewood.
I turn and enter His house, and close His door.
How do I live if I live not only in God's presence but in His house?
And I love Church and the mass and it is a wonderful way to Him, a grounding and a coming home and a comfort and joy and giver of strength and endurance to carry on the rest of the week. But I live my whole life in God's house, not just the hour or so on Sundays, and particularly when I am attending such grand churches, I need the reminder.
26 December 2009
Graduation: An Interview
*** This blog was written in the hospital waiting room while my grandfather underwent hip surgery. Please hold him, my grandmother and his recovery in your prayers.
Mom: Congratulations!
CD (me): thank you
Mom: So how does it feel to have your whole life open up in front of you?
CD: umm... yikes! and quite exciting at the same time. i loved college and just am ready and anticipating the next step.
Mom: Oh, really! and how do you feel about that?
CD: thanks for the Freaky Friday reference, shrink-y mom, like I said: I'm excited and nervous.
Mom: Tell us about your new room mates
CD: Wel.. to catch up any one who doesn't know, this past semester I lived in a university townhouse in a community called Magis Row -- this was like a living and learning community only on a block as opposed to in a dorm. My house was Catholic Social Teaching, so we hosted several events about various aspects of CST. Sadly, since it was univeristy housing, now that i am an alumn (gulp) I can't live there any more. So I found a house about 5 blocks behind campus that i'm really looking forward to. Two of my house mates are Georgetown alums from the past several years. They seem very nice and welcoming.
Mom: and your cat... ?
CD: oh, yes, right, my cat, Pixie, gets to live with me again!
Mom: I will miss Pixie, she's the grumpiest sweetest cat I've ever known.
CD: well that sounds about right. You can come and visit.
Mom: Yes I'll come and visit your cat.
CD: hehehe
Mom: I'll bring my dog to beat her up so she feels at home again.
CD: uh-oh. Ok, now my turn to ask you a question: how does it feel to have a graduated daughter?
Mom: Exciting and scary.
CD: wow, those words sounds familiar. Our family seems to have a very limited vocabulary. Anything you'd like to add to that??
Mom: Yeah, let's go skiing. We gotta hit the slopes after we hit New York.
CD: and ladies and gentlemen, the nonsequetor of the evening!
Mom: hehe, yeah. haha. Ok, so the graduation trip is the fist celebration for the new graduate... so after your trips, what's next? what's your plan?
CD: well in the spring I'm hoping to be working with the nonprofit (Little Friends for Peace) that I've been volunteering with for the past year. I'd be working in the development office, doing fund raising and grant writing as well as working with the kids in the after school program. I'll also be taking a class online: Teaching English as a Foreign Language. I'm really looking forward to it -- learning some teaching tips (I figure as right now I really want to go into education, I should really take an education class). Then a job at a coffee shop, and finally working on my own grant writing and fund raising in order to return and teach in El Salvador next fall.
Mom: Yes. Good bye
CD; ahhh! what?
Mom: El Salvador is so far away... and it is right where you belong. If we work this right you can be in El Salvador in the fall and your sister can be in Africa. And I will have a house full of animals!
CD: You might just have to travel and come visit us. No dogs though.
Mom: I'll come.
We will now pause for a brief word from our sponsors:
Our sponsor of the morning is the local shelter. We encourage you to give your time, talent or donations to help the creatures who cannot help themselves. Your local shelter is full of cats, kittens, dogs, puppies, ferrets, rabbits, rodents, and many other creatures who need your help. Someone said you can judge a society by how it treats its animals.
*** My grandfather has just come out of surgery, everything went well. Thank you for your prayers!***
Mom: Congratulations!
CD (me): thank you
Mom: So how does it feel to have your whole life open up in front of you?
CD: umm... yikes! and quite exciting at the same time. i loved college and just am ready and anticipating the next step.
Mom: Oh, really! and how do you feel about that?
CD: thanks for the Freaky Friday reference, shrink-y mom, like I said: I'm excited and nervous.
Mom: Tell us about your new room mates
CD: Wel.. to catch up any one who doesn't know, this past semester I lived in a university townhouse in a community called Magis Row -- this was like a living and learning community only on a block as opposed to in a dorm. My house was Catholic Social Teaching, so we hosted several events about various aspects of CST. Sadly, since it was univeristy housing, now that i am an alumn (gulp) I can't live there any more. So I found a house about 5 blocks behind campus that i'm really looking forward to. Two of my house mates are Georgetown alums from the past several years. They seem very nice and welcoming.
Mom: and your cat... ?
CD: oh, yes, right, my cat, Pixie, gets to live with me again!
Mom: I will miss Pixie, she's the grumpiest sweetest cat I've ever known.
CD: well that sounds about right. You can come and visit.
Mom: Yes I'll come and visit your cat.
CD: hehehe
Mom: I'll bring my dog to beat her up so she feels at home again.
CD: uh-oh. Ok, now my turn to ask you a question: how does it feel to have a graduated daughter?
Mom: Exciting and scary.
CD: wow, those words sounds familiar. Our family seems to have a very limited vocabulary. Anything you'd like to add to that??
Mom: Yeah, let's go skiing. We gotta hit the slopes after we hit New York.
CD: and ladies and gentlemen, the nonsequetor of the evening!
Mom: hehe, yeah. haha. Ok, so the graduation trip is the fist celebration for the new graduate... so after your trips, what's next? what's your plan?
CD: well in the spring I'm hoping to be working with the nonprofit (Little Friends for Peace) that I've been volunteering with for the past year. I'd be working in the development office, doing fund raising and grant writing as well as working with the kids in the after school program. I'll also be taking a class online: Teaching English as a Foreign Language. I'm really looking forward to it -- learning some teaching tips (I figure as right now I really want to go into education, I should really take an education class). Then a job at a coffee shop, and finally working on my own grant writing and fund raising in order to return and teach in El Salvador next fall.
Mom: Yes. Good bye
CD; ahhh! what?
Mom: El Salvador is so far away... and it is right where you belong. If we work this right you can be in El Salvador in the fall and your sister can be in Africa. And I will have a house full of animals!
CD: You might just have to travel and come visit us. No dogs though.
Mom: I'll come.
We will now pause for a brief word from our sponsors:
Our sponsor of the morning is the local shelter. We encourage you to give your time, talent or donations to help the creatures who cannot help themselves. Your local shelter is full of cats, kittens, dogs, puppies, ferrets, rabbits, rodents, and many other creatures who need your help. Someone said you can judge a society by how it treats its animals.
*** My grandfather has just come out of surgery, everything went well. Thank you for your prayers!***
13 December 2009
Harvesting Crumbs
So this is a post I've been meaning to write for a while.... and what better time to write it than when I ought to be writing my thesis?
(important note by the way: I just hit 40 pages yesterday -- which is the minimum! I still have 4 sections I'd like to write plus a conclusion, which will probably end up to be 18-ish pages I think, which is totally do-able! but please continue sending good thesis thoughts and prayers my way!)
Anyway...one of the things I've been thinking about lately is: why am I keeping this blog? When I was in El Salvador last spring it was obvious: it was a way for me to document, process, reflect upon and share with all of you my experiences, challenges, and celebrations.
I am not in El Salvador any more. Obvious, right?
Something happened last week that reminded me though.
So, last Thursday, I went in to the Peace Room (part of a community center after-school program). I was the only volunteer there that day. Jerry and MJ the co-directors were receiving an award for their peace work and all of the other volunteers either had finals or had gone home for the holidays already. So, it was me and three rambunctious crazy 5 year olds. Our mission: to decorate the peace room for Christmas.
So they came in, we sat in a circle on the floor (which really meant one of them plopped herself on my lap, and the other ran around the room) while we did our check-ins (what has made your peace? what has broken your peace?) then we said our peace pledge and sang a couple of their songs. At which point I gave them their mission. NO was the resounding answer. We spent the next 15 minutes or so with one (or both of them) falling down, and saying "OH NO I broke my neck!) To which of course, I would call 911 (on my hand...you, know....pretend :) and be instructed that the ONLY cure for a broken neck is to be tickled! Then my two 5 yr olds (the third hadn't arrived yet) started taking turns calling 911 and be the 911 operator.
Then, that game worn out... I gave them a choice: we cold read a book or work on decorations. We chose decorations (side note: i think I learned this in psychology, about giving a children 2 options and then they get to decide what to do, but usually youngs kids do tend to choose and option).
Coloring, cutting, and couple of other pretend games later... and it was time to clean up.
Of course here, in print, on a computer screen, I can't capture their smiles, or their screams (at one point we made a bath room field trip and one of them ran ahead of me into the bathroom and when I got in, she was standing in the middle with a HUGE grin on her face, screaming as loud as she could). But maybe a glimmer has been captured.
Curing broken necks, pretending us safe from pretend robbers, coloring with these five year olds made me think: Life. Be. Those crumbs are every where. Writing here, some how sharing the crumbs that bring me life and joy and awareness and reflection, that sharing helps me to be more aware of them. To keep my eyes and my heart open. So thank you. Thank you for joining me in my little feast of crumbs.
(important note by the way: I just hit 40 pages yesterday -- which is the minimum! I still have 4 sections I'd like to write plus a conclusion, which will probably end up to be 18-ish pages I think, which is totally do-able! but please continue sending good thesis thoughts and prayers my way!)
Anyway...one of the things I've been thinking about lately is: why am I keeping this blog? When I was in El Salvador last spring it was obvious: it was a way for me to document, process, reflect upon and share with all of you my experiences, challenges, and celebrations.
I am not in El Salvador any more. Obvious, right?
Something happened last week that reminded me though.
So, last Thursday, I went in to the Peace Room (part of a community center after-school program). I was the only volunteer there that day. Jerry and MJ the co-directors were receiving an award for their peace work and all of the other volunteers either had finals or had gone home for the holidays already. So, it was me and three rambunctious crazy 5 year olds. Our mission: to decorate the peace room for Christmas.
So they came in, we sat in a circle on the floor (which really meant one of them plopped herself on my lap, and the other ran around the room) while we did our check-ins (what has made your peace? what has broken your peace?) then we said our peace pledge and sang a couple of their songs. At which point I gave them their mission. NO was the resounding answer. We spent the next 15 minutes or so with one (or both of them) falling down, and saying "OH NO I broke my neck!) To which of course, I would call 911 (on my hand...you, know....pretend :) and be instructed that the ONLY cure for a broken neck is to be tickled! Then my two 5 yr olds (the third hadn't arrived yet) started taking turns calling 911 and be the 911 operator.
Then, that game worn out... I gave them a choice: we cold read a book or work on decorations. We chose decorations (side note: i think I learned this in psychology, about giving a children 2 options and then they get to decide what to do, but usually youngs kids do tend to choose and option).
Coloring, cutting, and couple of other pretend games later... and it was time to clean up.
Of course here, in print, on a computer screen, I can't capture their smiles, or their screams (at one point we made a bath room field trip and one of them ran ahead of me into the bathroom and when I got in, she was standing in the middle with a HUGE grin on her face, screaming as loud as she could). But maybe a glimmer has been captured.
Curing broken necks, pretending us safe from pretend robbers, coloring with these five year olds made me think: Life. Be. Those crumbs are every where. Writing here, some how sharing the crumbs that bring me life and joy and awareness and reflection, that sharing helps me to be more aware of them. To keep my eyes and my heart open. So thank you. Thank you for joining me in my little feast of crumbs.
09 December 2009
Shalom: Peace, Hello, Good bye
The things I learn in my physiological psychology class.... probably the things that I pick up on and then reflect on are definitely not the main core principals I'm supposed to learning, memorizing, and appreciating...but at least I'm learning something!
As an example of symbolic thought, ie words. Words are symbols of objects (ideas too but that's something even more complciated...), and the word itself is not confused with the object.
But a word that is unknown is not a symbol, but rather just a series of squiggly lines.
So our professor taught us the word shalom (written in hebrew) as an example to be able to appreciate the symbolism.
'Aight intro finished, now for the real thing.
The cool thing is that shalom means Peace, Hello, and Good bye.
Why is this interesting? Well, I think that language is in many ways the window through which we see and interact with the world. So, it seems profound to me to have one word for all three.
It could be that shalom doesn't mean all three, but shalom means Peace and so Peace can then be used as a greeting or a farewell.
"Hello, I wish you peace"
"Good bye, go in peace"
Language is some important, and by constantly wishing peace keeps in consistently in consciousness, consistently a part of moment to moment life.
I'm learning in peace education the importance of examples and models of peace -- so much in the world is violent and so it is that which is most easily conformed to. So this consistent greeting and farewell of peace is a way to bring a model of peace into life.
"Peace I leave with you my friends, my friends, and I am with you till the end."
...i feel like there is more i want to say about this but it's sitting just out of reach, i can almost see it but can't quite grasp it, so perhaps more later.
As an example of symbolic thought, ie words. Words are symbols of objects (ideas too but that's something even more complciated...), and the word itself is not confused with the object.
But a word that is unknown is not a symbol, but rather just a series of squiggly lines.
So our professor taught us the word shalom (written in hebrew) as an example to be able to appreciate the symbolism.
'Aight intro finished, now for the real thing.
The cool thing is that shalom means Peace, Hello, and Good bye.
Why is this interesting? Well, I think that language is in many ways the window through which we see and interact with the world. So, it seems profound to me to have one word for all three.
It could be that shalom doesn't mean all three, but shalom means Peace and so Peace can then be used as a greeting or a farewell.
"Hello, I wish you peace"
"Good bye, go in peace"
Language is some important, and by constantly wishing peace keeps in consistently in consciousness, consistently a part of moment to moment life.
I'm learning in peace education the importance of examples and models of peace -- so much in the world is violent and so it is that which is most easily conformed to. So this consistent greeting and farewell of peace is a way to bring a model of peace into life.
"Peace I leave with you my friends, my friends, and I am with you till the end."
...i feel like there is more i want to say about this but it's sitting just out of reach, i can almost see it but can't quite grasp it, so perhaps more later.
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